The Secret Guide to Valentine's Day for Men

One of my favorite memories of Valentine's Day is towards the beginning of my husband and I's dating he took my daughter and I out for Heart Shaped Pizza on Valentine's Day. Now Olivia was way to tiny to even remember, but just the fact that he included her on a day that is essentially for "couples", made me fall in love with him. At the time I was so jaded by being a single mom, I thought I would never find "the one" who would love not just me but also my baby girl. Since then every year the three of us go out for Valentine's Day pizza and it always reminds me of how lucky I am to have him.

Now after that very sappy Valentine's Day story, the advice I have for the rest of you bums is to follow..... 

Valentine's Day. You either love it or you hate it. If you are a guy, you most likely hate it, if you are single you most likely hate it, if you are a female it is the ultimate test for your husband/boyfriend to prove their love for you.Gentleman, send her flowers and buy her a card. And if you really wanna seal the deal- buy her jewelry. Even if she says any of the following:

Valentine's Flowers of 2013

"It's a Hallmark Holiday"

"I really don't care about Valentine's Day"

"I hate flowers"

"You don't have to do anything"

Gentleman, send her flowers and buy her a card. And if you really wanna seal the deal- buy her jewelry. One more time: Gentleman, send her flowers and buy her a card. And if you really wanna seal the deal- buy her jewelry. I am a woman and I still don't understand women- just mark my words you can't go wrong. I know it's confusing as hell, but the easiest way I can describe it is she wants you to show the world that you care. 

Here's the plus side to sending flowers (especially to her office) 

Valentine's Flowers of 2012

1. All of the other women she works with will be aware that you are a "keeper"
2. She will know that you care.
3. She will remember for ever that you sent her flowers.
4. If she posts it on Facebook or Instagram, the entire world will know that you are a "keeper"
5. You will most likely get some. 

I speak from experience. Working in Healthcare, I work in an office of nothing but women and when V-Day rolls around there is a secret tally to see who gets flowers and who doesn't. And those who don't and use excuse of "I don't like flowers" or "It's a Hallmark Holiday" will forever be labeled as "bitter" "bitches" or my favorite "having marital problems". Why? Who knows? Women are f-ing nuts! But the reality is all of those labels reflect poorly on your woman and you do not want to be the cause of it. 

Just Because Flowers

Now while this may seem like this is totally one sided and only benefiting your girl, it's really not. I remember being in the office, with my colleagues and going on and on and on about something completely stupid my husband did. Which if I remember correctly had something to do with correctly putting food away. And while I complained, one of the ladies I work with said to me, "But remember those beautiful flowers he sent you on Valentine's Day." And I was floored. Not only was she right, but it was October and she still remembered. Anyone who knows my story knows that my husband is amazing. We have been through hell and back together and he's always been by my side. There's about 10,000 reasons why I should have let that tiny issue of putting things away go but the girls in my office were more focused on the fact that he bought me flowers on Valentine's Day- and I should cut him some slack. Point of the story- these flowers will gain you allies and friends all over the place, that you will never know secretly have your back. And if you really wanna get in good with your girl, send her "Just Because" flowers- 100 times the effect of Valentine's Flowers. But that's a story for a different day.

Now- one big point to remember. MAKE IT A SURPRISE. Whatever it is, flowers, dinner, jewelry, a card whatever. Do NOT ask her what she wants or what you should do or bitch about how much money you spent. It takes the romance and fun right out of it, and you are guaranteed more loving if you surprise her. Consider every Valentine's Day to be taking one for the team. Suck it up, spend the money, and take care of her. Because "a happy wife is a happy life"

Happy Valentine's Day!!